I regret having an abortion

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old, and I enjoy reading your column. I recently moved in with my boyfriend, who is 30 years old.

My father found out that this man is my boyfriend, and he was upset. He told me that this man is not a good person because he knows he has two children and does not take care of them. He knows the children’s mother, and she complained to him that he is no good.

I told this man what my father had said, and he told me that this woman has been telling other people that he does not take care of his children, but that he gives her money every fortnight.

I stopped talking to him for a while. When I missed my period and realised I was pregnant, I had to go back to him because I did not know what to do. He was happy to have me back, and he encouraged me to have an abortion. I did the abortion to please him. My parents did not know that I got pregnant.

He left the mother of his children, rented another place, and I moved in with him. Now I see myself as a murderer because I have destroyed a life. Every day I think about what the child I lost would have become.

I am planning to go to HEART/NSTA. My mother and I don’t talk very much because I can’t trust her. Where I am living now with this man, the place is small, but I am comfortable. I don’t pressure him because I know he has to maintain his two children.

He promised that he would not get me pregnant again until I am much older. He is also sorry that he encouraged me to have an abortion because every day I cry over what I have done.

Do you think that God will forgive me for having an abortion?

P.

Dear P.,

Time will tell whether your father was speaking the truth about the man you claim to be your boyfriend. I do not encourage young women to move in with a man under these circumstances, and I consider this man to be very irresponsible. He did not have to get you pregnant.

Of course, I am aware that you are old enough to know that having unprotected sex exposes you to pregnancy. I am not surprised that you regret having an abortion.

I have dealt with many young women who have had abortions and later regretted their decision. Please understand that I am not here to condemn you. God forbid that I should condemn you for what you have done. I am simply trying to make the point that you should be extremely careful about how you live from this point onward.

I hope this man will help you return to school, and I also hope you will be wise enough to build a good relationship with your father and seek to improve the relationship you have with your mother. Remember, parents are not always right, but they will always be your parents.

The good Lord will forgive you for whatever wrong you have done. You cannot undo what has already happened. Focus on your future and be good to yourself.

Pastor