Dad keeps soiled sheet as souvenir

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old girl and I am still a virgin. My mother told me that I should try to remain a virgin until I get married. She said that I should be able to prove to my husband that I am a virgin when we have sex for the first time and he penetrates me.

Even though my mom and dad have been married for 10 years, she said my father always commends her for giving him the opportunity to take her virginity. My father kept the sheet that was on the bed when they had sex for the first time. I told my mother that I consider that unsanitary.

My mother said nothing is unsanitary when it came to having sex with my father. I told her I would not keep the sheet on which I had sex for the first time.

I have a boyfriend at the moment, but I would not even suggest that to him. I have a friend whose hymen was broken while riding a bicycle. She told me that when she had sex for the first time and did not bleed much, her boyfriend questioned whether she was talking the truth about being a virgin. She had a very difficult time explaining to him what really happened. He did not believe her.

Do you believe that it is possible for someone to lose their virginity riding a bicycle?

N.A

Dear N.A.,

It is indeed possible for a woman to lose her virginity by riding a bicycle, or by doing some other vigorous type of work. However, it does not mean that if a woman has broken her hymen, her status as a virgin has changed because it is by actual sexual intercourse that such status would be changed.

I remember some years ago, I was counselling a young woman and she told me that she was not a virgin anymore. She said she gave it up. She got tired of being a virgin, and so she decided to have sexual intercourse with a guy.

Your mother believes that even to have the soil sheets on which your dad had sex with her is important to him. It seems to me that you and your mother have very intimate conversations from time to time.

I hope that you and your boyfriend will get married very soon. What you do with your sheet will be up to you.

Pastor